Saturday, March 17, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Gilmore Girls
It's such a fun and charming show. The first season started in October 2000, which I barely remember I was in 11th Grade. It's basically about the relationship between a single mother Lorelai (in her 30s) and her teenage daughter Rory. Based in a cute small town were they live called Stars Hollow (in Connecticut) with all sorts of interesting characters. Alot of the plot is focused on their relationships; with eachother, Lorelai's parents, Rory's dad, their best friends Sookie and Lane, boyfriends, and other people in the town. It has a lot of quirky cute things to it. Especially the cute boys Rory dates.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Job Stress, Holidays, and Near Fatal Car Accident
It has been a very interesting last 2 months or so. I realize my lack of writing may have scared a few people and I'm sorry. In the briefest way possible, this is what has been happening in my life:
Job
Shortly after my last post my job became a little intense. We had five different front office staff quit or stop showing, including our office manager (who walked out one afternoon). I suddenly became the vet and some how the entire office was placed on my shoulders. I went from only working afternoons when I started, to working some full and 1/2 days, to working full-time 10-12 hr days with no overtime. I spend 1/2 my day at my job and have no time to have a life. I at least have a girl who works afternoons 4 days a week and another girl who works full-time but between the two clinics.
In October just after my surgery, I arranged to take 2 weeks off in November to go to the USA to spend Thanksgiving with friends and family. It didn't matter to me how stuck they were it was their own fault and things were already arranged (they didn't find anyone to cover me until the day before I left). I felt and still feel myself burning out and I knew I needed to get out of there.
Driving
Despite multiple attempts to convince or guilt me into staying we left on a Friday night. Chelsea and I had made this trip once a year when we came home for Christmas, so we weren't really worried about the weather. The only part of the drive that is usually bad in the winter are the three mountain ranges along the highway in Montana.
We drove to Cardston to stay with our grandparents and then were off to Driggs Idaho (which is about 1/2 hr from Wyoming) to stay with my friend Jenny. We also had our sister Holly with us, which made it nice to have an extra driver.
It was icy and winding. We got hit with a huge wind gust that was so powerful we thought we hit something. Idaho wasn't too bad till we got closer to Driggs and were up in the mountains again.
Idaho
We had a great time with Jenny, her husband, and the little one. I hadn't seen her in almost two years. It was too short but still worth it. Monday morning we headed for Idaho Falls. I had an appointment with my uncle because I fractured a tooth eating popcorn and had to have it removed which really made me sad. We also discovered that I needed a root-canal and a retreat on another tooth. My teeth are really special so he had to send me to an endodontist which ended up being $1600. Booo! plus I got put on antibiotics for 2 weeks. We spent 1 night with my aunt playing cards to the wee hours of the morning and another at my cousin Brittney's before leaving Wednesday.
Provo Utah
We got to the Ericson's that night. We were excited to spend Thanksgiving with them and the kids the next day. We cooked, laughed, ate, and talked all day until we decided to check out some pre-black Friday sales. We started at Wal-mart and it was so INSANE we didn't last very long. We headed to Target and it was just as bad. We decided to wait till the morning even though none of the girls wanted to get up that early with us. I knew it was easier to stay up late then wake up early and they would have to re-stalk for Friday. Holly, Chelsea, and I got up at 5:00 a.m. and headed to a few stores. We got everything we wanted and the crowds were so small and nice.
North Salt Lake Utah
Brandee, Saffy, and Brenannan were waiting for us so we decided to give Brandee her Xmas present early. Chelsea and I had been working on a New Moon scrapbook of the premiere for months and were excited to give it to her.
She had Monday off school so we shopped and went to see Breaking Dawn with her Camille and Kara. It was totally lame. She skipped school on Tuesday so we hung out and had her dye our hair. Wednesday we took Holly to Park City which was pretty picked over so shopping was disappointing. Thursday we shopped some more and there was a wicked bad wind storm that swept through that part of Utah. We also met up with some of my great friends from when I worked at the Temple in SLC. We had a great time catching up and hanging out on temple square. I was very happy to see my bestie Chalene. Im very blessed to have so many wonderful friends both at home in Canada and in the US!
On Friday Holly and Chelsea wanted to shop a bit more before we left to Idaho Falls and of course the closer we got to the mountains the worse the weather got. A three hour drive turned into five hours. We of course played cards again that night with my aunt and left too late Saturday afternoon.
Accident Driving Home
The whole trip we left later then we planed to and we paid for it coming back. We didn't get to Great Falls until 9:00 p.m. Were we stopped to eat and take a break. It was Chelsea's turn to drive and the roads weren't really good and about 1/2 hour from the boarder she hit a patch of black ice.
We started to fish tale a bit and then we were fish tailing between the two lanes before we started spinning. None of us really remember anything, it's amazing how you black out when things like this happen. I remember Chelsea just saying "I don't know what to do." I put my arm out to brace her and Holly was crying hysterically in the back. I can't tell you how many times we spun around on the highway before spinning out into the ditch. We poped up on the opposite side of the highway facing the other direction.
When we calmed down and gathered our thoughts. Chelsea and I got out to asses the damage. Of course were in between two podunk towns and there are no lights. There didn't appear to be damage and I got in the driver side and some how got us out of the ditch. We were so lucky; we didn't need to be towed, we didn't have any damage not even a scratch, we didn't roll the car (probably because Holly spent like $3000 and the back of the van was so low and heavy), we didn't end up in the ditch on the other side, which had wooden post and barbwire fences, and there were no cars on the road with us going North or South. We of course didn't think to take pictures when we were in the ditch, so these are after we got out.
We had to some how turn around so we drove back about 1/2 hour before being able to turn at an emergency turn out. We didn't get to the boarder until 1 a.m. where we had to get out to pay duty. We called our grandparents and our dad to let them know.
Of course they had a really bad snow storm as well, so an hour drive took us five hours to get there. The roads had about 2 feet of snow on them and the wind was really bad. I of course was now driving and was white knuckling it the whole time. It was a very stressful drive. Cardston wasn't plowed either so it was hard getting anywhere. We didn't get to our grandparents till 5:00 a.m. Sunday.
We slept late and decided to drive home regardless only we wanted it to be light and of course I had to drive again. So the roads weren't too bad, but I was grateful when we got home.
I don't know what the deal is with all my near death experiences lately, but would somebody please enlighten me?
Job
Shortly after my last post my job became a little intense. We had five different front office staff quit or stop showing, including our office manager (who walked out one afternoon). I suddenly became the vet and some how the entire office was placed on my shoulders. I went from only working afternoons when I started, to working some full and 1/2 days, to working full-time 10-12 hr days with no overtime. I spend 1/2 my day at my job and have no time to have a life. I at least have a girl who works afternoons 4 days a week and another girl who works full-time but between the two clinics.
In October just after my surgery, I arranged to take 2 weeks off in November to go to the USA to spend Thanksgiving with friends and family. It didn't matter to me how stuck they were it was their own fault and things were already arranged (they didn't find anyone to cover me until the day before I left). I felt and still feel myself burning out and I knew I needed to get out of there.
Driving
Despite multiple attempts to convince or guilt me into staying we left on a Friday night. Chelsea and I had made this trip once a year when we came home for Christmas, so we weren't really worried about the weather. The only part of the drive that is usually bad in the winter are the three mountain ranges along the highway in Montana.
We drove to Cardston to stay with our grandparents and then were off to Driggs Idaho (which is about 1/2 hr from Wyoming) to stay with my friend Jenny. We also had our sister Holly with us, which made it nice to have an extra driver.
It was icy and winding. We got hit with a huge wind gust that was so powerful we thought we hit something. Idaho wasn't too bad till we got closer to Driggs and were up in the mountains again.
Idaho
We had a great time with Jenny, her husband, and the little one. I hadn't seen her in almost two years. It was too short but still worth it. Monday morning we headed for Idaho Falls. I had an appointment with my uncle because I fractured a tooth eating popcorn and had to have it removed which really made me sad. We also discovered that I needed a root-canal and a retreat on another tooth. My teeth are really special so he had to send me to an endodontist which ended up being $1600. Booo! plus I got put on antibiotics for 2 weeks. We spent 1 night with my aunt playing cards to the wee hours of the morning and another at my cousin Brittney's before leaving Wednesday.
Provo Utah
We got to the Ericson's that night. We were excited to spend Thanksgiving with them and the kids the next day. We cooked, laughed, ate, and talked all day until we decided to check out some pre-black Friday sales. We started at Wal-mart and it was so INSANE we didn't last very long. We headed to Target and it was just as bad. We decided to wait till the morning even though none of the girls wanted to get up that early with us. I knew it was easier to stay up late then wake up early and they would have to re-stalk for Friday. Holly, Chelsea, and I got up at 5:00 a.m. and headed to a few stores. We got everything we wanted and the crowds were so small and nice.
The girls went bowling and out for dinner one night which was fun. We also saranwrapped some dudes truck and crumpled newspapers and threw them in the bed. They all went back to school Monday morning so we stayed late on Sunday playing games and then drove to Brandees.
Brandee, Saffy, and Brenannan were waiting for us so we decided to give Brandee her Xmas present early. Chelsea and I had been working on a New Moon scrapbook of the premiere for months and were excited to give it to her.
Accident Driving Home
We started to fish tale a bit and then we were fish tailing between the two lanes before we started spinning. None of us really remember anything, it's amazing how you black out when things like this happen. I remember Chelsea just saying "I don't know what to do." I put my arm out to brace her and Holly was crying hysterically in the back. I can't tell you how many times we spun around on the highway before spinning out into the ditch. We poped up on the opposite side of the highway facing the other direction.
We had to some how turn around so we drove back about 1/2 hour before being able to turn at an emergency turn out. We didn't get to the boarder until 1 a.m. where we had to get out to pay duty. We called our grandparents and our dad to let them know.
We slept late and decided to drive home regardless only we wanted it to be light and of course I had to drive again. So the roads weren't too bad, but I was grateful when we got home.
I don't know what the deal is with all my near death experiences lately, but would somebody please enlighten me?
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Confessions of a Post Traumatic Hospital Experience
I realize this post may seem a little off and maybe even somewhat depressive, but as you can see by the time of day it is something I can't stop thinking about. Without going into all the details and rehashing that experience. I want to share something new that I felt was too personal to put out there in the world. I did try to write posts objectivly about what happened and not about how I felt. So please don't be alarmed or freaked out and if you are I assure you that everything is fine.
I had my 6 week follow-up appointment with Dr. Steed (the OBGYN that did my surgery) last Friday and he said something to me that has really bothered me. It wasn't his answers to my questions about what went wrong? will there be permanent damage? will I get them again? can I still have children if I wanted to? did the pathology come back negative? or even menstrual issues. It was his response to a comment I made about "my traumatic hospital experience." He replied with a laugh and a comment that went something like this, "I find it hard to believe that someone like you was traumatized." My response, "what do you mean someone like me" "well with your personality your just so bubbly and pleasant." I didn't really know how to respond. I wanted to yell at him, to use all the curse words I could think of, and make a big scene. However, the appointment didn't last much longer and I would never have done something like that.
This experience brings me to the very personal thing that I mentioned earlier. After I went into surgery the first time and was put in recovery, 5 hours had passed before I really woke up. Yes, when I was finally able to fight my way through the darkness and open my eyes. It was bright and blurry at first as my eyes adjusted. The first thing I saw was a clock on the opposite wall. I thought it was wrong at first until I was able to focus more clearly and make out the time. It didn't take long for my knowledge of the OBGYN field and all the medical stuff that was crammed into my brain for me to realize something was terribly wrong. My head was too foggy so I can't really recall alot of what happened or questions that were asked, but I didn't have to I already knew.
I can't say for certain how many times the thought passed through my mind as I was in and out of consciousness for most of it, but I truly thought I was dying. I remember asking God that if I was going to die that it be quick, but the worst part was I didn't really care. The only thing I could think of that I regretted was not ever traveling and seeing the world like I always planned to. I was seriously okay with dying, in fact I wanted to. I was content with the idea of meeting my maker as they say and leaving this life.
During the extent of my visit there were at least three other times I remember thinking about and even wishing for death. When I received my first blood transfusion, then the next two, and then finally when my heart beat was over 200 BPM. I came to terms with it and excepted it as a viable option. When it didn't happen I can't really say whether I felt relief and hope or disappointment.
Of course there have been times in my life when I have thought that it would be so much easier if I didn't wake up the next morning or what would happen if I just turned the wheel of the vehicle this way. Now that I'm starting 8 weeks post-op I'm not sure what's going on with me. I know I'm different. I'm sad and angry. I can't help it. I do what I always do. I make jokes and pretend like every thing's okay when really I just don't wan't to think or talk about it. The only thing I can make out of all of this is that I need to make some changes and I mean some big ones. Living, job, education, the whole works. Because if I in my quiet moments I wish that I had died in the hospital, something is most defiantly wrong.
WOAH now don't freak out Im not suicidal or anything like that. I can see how that could be the message here but it's not. All Im saying is that this is WEIRD and I think my inner self is trying to tell me something or I'm a little more traumatized then I thought. I wrote this in the hopes that something would come to me as I reflected and wrote about it, but I don't think it has. Of course I know I need to make some life changes, but what kind I don't know.
I had my 6 week follow-up appointment with Dr. Steed (the OBGYN that did my surgery) last Friday and he said something to me that has really bothered me. It wasn't his answers to my questions about what went wrong? will there be permanent damage? will I get them again? can I still have children if I wanted to? did the pathology come back negative? or even menstrual issues. It was his response to a comment I made about "my traumatic hospital experience." He replied with a laugh and a comment that went something like this, "I find it hard to believe that someone like you was traumatized." My response, "what do you mean someone like me" "well with your personality your just so bubbly and pleasant." I didn't really know how to respond. I wanted to yell at him, to use all the curse words I could think of, and make a big scene. However, the appointment didn't last much longer and I would never have done something like that.
This experience brings me to the very personal thing that I mentioned earlier. After I went into surgery the first time and was put in recovery, 5 hours had passed before I really woke up. Yes, when I was finally able to fight my way through the darkness and open my eyes. It was bright and blurry at first as my eyes adjusted. The first thing I saw was a clock on the opposite wall. I thought it was wrong at first until I was able to focus more clearly and make out the time. It didn't take long for my knowledge of the OBGYN field and all the medical stuff that was crammed into my brain for me to realize something was terribly wrong. My head was too foggy so I can't really recall alot of what happened or questions that were asked, but I didn't have to I already knew.
I can't say for certain how many times the thought passed through my mind as I was in and out of consciousness for most of it, but I truly thought I was dying. I remember asking God that if I was going to die that it be quick, but the worst part was I didn't really care. The only thing I could think of that I regretted was not ever traveling and seeing the world like I always planned to. I was seriously okay with dying, in fact I wanted to. I was content with the idea of meeting my maker as they say and leaving this life.
During the extent of my visit there were at least three other times I remember thinking about and even wishing for death. When I received my first blood transfusion, then the next two, and then finally when my heart beat was over 200 BPM. I came to terms with it and excepted it as a viable option. When it didn't happen I can't really say whether I felt relief and hope or disappointment.
Of course there have been times in my life when I have thought that it would be so much easier if I didn't wake up the next morning or what would happen if I just turned the wheel of the vehicle this way. Now that I'm starting 8 weeks post-op I'm not sure what's going on with me. I know I'm different. I'm sad and angry. I can't help it. I do what I always do. I make jokes and pretend like every thing's okay when really I just don't wan't to think or talk about it. The only thing I can make out of all of this is that I need to make some changes and I mean some big ones. Living, job, education, the whole works. Because if I in my quiet moments I wish that I had died in the hospital, something is most defiantly wrong.
WOAH now don't freak out Im not suicidal or anything like that. I can see how that could be the message here but it's not. All Im saying is that this is WEIRD and I think my inner self is trying to tell me something or I'm a little more traumatized then I thought. I wrote this in the hopes that something would come to me as I reflected and wrote about it, but I don't think it has. Of course I know I need to make some life changes, but what kind I don't know.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Meaghan Smith Concert
My friend Tasha called me Saturday morning and asked if I could meet her to pick up some free tickets to a concert that was going to be that night. It was free because Airdire was doing a bunch of art themed events called Artember. I've been to busy with work and life to really notice. I didn't have access to a vehicular device and I wasn't going to walk a long distance 5 weeks post-op. So she said she would try and convince them to give her an extra ticket. Luckily for me they did.
She heard about Meaghan Smith from her brother in-law Sloan, (who happens to be my third cousin) who lives in Halifax with his wife and child. Apparently, he is friends with her and her husband. Small world isn't it? The way Tasha described her to me was that she reminded her of Sarah Slean, one of my favourite Canadian artists. So I was willing to check her out. She actually reminded me more of Ingrid Michaleson. Sarah plays the piano and her counterpart in my opinion would be Regina Specktor. All though, all three women have similar quirky and fun qualities about them.
Meaghan was really fun and personable. Really Penelopeish or Anthro look about her. Her one man band was her husband. Her songs are really fun and kindof have an old 50s feel sometimes. She talked a lot and described all of her songs.
To my surprise one of her songs was featured on the soundtrack for 500 Days of Summer, which is a really cute movie and she won a JUNO this year (the Canadian version of the Grammys) for best new artist. People she is really good and has some really fun songs so check her out. I can't embed any of her music videos but follow this link to youtube to check them out.
She heard about Meaghan Smith from her brother in-law Sloan, (who happens to be my third cousin) who lives in Halifax with his wife and child. Apparently, he is friends with her and her husband. Small world isn't it? The way Tasha described her to me was that she reminded her of Sarah Slean, one of my favourite Canadian artists. So I was willing to check her out. She actually reminded me more of Ingrid Michaleson. Sarah plays the piano and her counterpart in my opinion would be Regina Specktor. All though, all three women have similar quirky and fun qualities about them.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Day Surgery My Eye: Weeks Following
September 12, 2011
I was instructed by the Hospital nurse that my steri-strips could be removed after 7 days (September 6). 4 hours after I removed them I showered and noticed a strange yellow liquid started oozing out of my incision. I of course checked for signs of infection; no malaise (tiredness or lack of energy), abnormal redness or swelling, fever or chills, hot to the touch, or abnormal pain. There was some hardness to the area and of course the discharge; however, the discharge had no odor. So I called the Calgary Health Link to talk to a nurse who said I should call my surgeon. I called Dr. Steed's office and was referred to the nurse who assured me it was normal. At that time, it had been 3 1/2 days that I've been changing sterile gauze on the site. She said that it was normal for a few days and that if it past a week that I should go to Urgent Care. So I've been worried for almost a week that I have an infection and horrified at the idea of having to go back to the hospital.
I started work on Monday, I was told to take 6 weeks off but honestly I can't afford to do that when I'm only working part-time. All I do is answer phones, book apts, and collect money. They have to do the rest. Better to sit and do something and get paid then sit at home and do nothing. I was still draining which makes me feel gross, but luckily when I woke up Tuesday morning (13th) it had stopped.
There was nothing for 2 days. Then Wednesday (14th) I woke up and I noticed my incision was hot, red, swollen, hard, and more painful. I looked at it before I got in the shower and there were two small spots where it looked white like puss or fluid wanting to break through. After I showered, surprise it started draining again. This time it was darker, more of an orange colour. So I decided to go to Airdrie Urgent Care to at least help ease my mind.
I ended up waiting 4 hours before a doctor saw me. He looked at my incision and said it wasn't infected. So I had him clarify what exactly it was that I was looking for, since in my opinion I had all but fever and chills. Maybe because I know so much about the medical field I was self diagnosing something that wasn't there. Yet it still doesn't seem normal to me. He told me it was normal to drain like this for weeks after surgery, but of course after my experience I don't trust anyone. So that's where I'm at. It's a bad attitude and I'm trying to be more positive but I'm just waiting for something else to fall through.
I was instructed by the Hospital nurse that my steri-strips could be removed after 7 days (September 6). 4 hours after I removed them I showered and noticed a strange yellow liquid started oozing out of my incision. I of course checked for signs of infection; no malaise (tiredness or lack of energy), abnormal redness or swelling, fever or chills, hot to the touch, or abnormal pain. There was some hardness to the area and of course the discharge; however, the discharge had no odor. So I called the Calgary Health Link to talk to a nurse who said I should call my surgeon. I called Dr. Steed's office and was referred to the nurse who assured me it was normal. At that time, it had been 3 1/2 days that I've been changing sterile gauze on the site. She said that it was normal for a few days and that if it past a week that I should go to Urgent Care. So I've been worried for almost a week that I have an infection and horrified at the idea of having to go back to the hospital.
I started work on Monday, I was told to take 6 weeks off but honestly I can't afford to do that when I'm only working part-time. All I do is answer phones, book apts, and collect money. They have to do the rest. Better to sit and do something and get paid then sit at home and do nothing. I was still draining which makes me feel gross, but luckily when I woke up Tuesday morning (13th) it had stopped.
There was nothing for 2 days. Then Wednesday (14th) I woke up and I noticed my incision was hot, red, swollen, hard, and more painful. I looked at it before I got in the shower and there were two small spots where it looked white like puss or fluid wanting to break through. After I showered, surprise it started draining again. This time it was darker, more of an orange colour. So I decided to go to Airdrie Urgent Care to at least help ease my mind.
I ended up waiting 4 hours before a doctor saw me. He looked at my incision and said it wasn't infected. So I had him clarify what exactly it was that I was looking for, since in my opinion I had all but fever and chills. Maybe because I know so much about the medical field I was self diagnosing something that wasn't there. Yet it still doesn't seem normal to me. He told me it was normal to drain like this for weeks after surgery, but of course after my experience I don't trust anyone. So that's where I'm at. It's a bad attitude and I'm trying to be more positive but I'm just waiting for something else to fall through.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Cut! Costume and the Cinema Exhibit
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